HOW TO GET THE LIFE YOU REALLY WANT
I want you to consider what the life you really want would look like.
I mean literally look like, what are you wearing, what house are you
in? What do you drive? How do you feel? What can you smell? flowers?
Are you at peace? Who are your friends? What are you doing for a living?
Are you in love with your life? Ask yourself the hard questions, I promise
no one can hear you. It is safe to indulge your wildest fantasies.
Until you can answer this honestly you can't have the life you think you
want. So take some time, write it down, revise it, ponder it, without limitations or judgement. There may be several versions or options, go wild.
One thing I have learned this past year in my ongoing search for a better me is that until you really identify what actually could make you happy nothing will. If you don't know what makes you happy , there is nothing happening towards that end. I have also learned that this happiness is not what I originally thought it would be, as I leaned in over the year it became more clear, like unwrapping something slowly and the colors change when the light hits them. Another thing I learned was happiness is tangible right where you are, a change in perspective is always helpful literally at any given moment everything can change with your view.
As I leaned in and started doing what people like to call " the work", I call it an indulgent walk into yourself so to speak. I added practices that would support this work and learned new things constantly. There has to be a hunger for more, for enlightenment if you will. You have to expose yourself to new ideas and be open in a way you have never been before. I mean really open not through your old lense of judgement. You have to reset entirely and be willing to give up old idea's, old anger, old places that are comfortable to make space for the new. This is impossible without taking out your own garbage.
So you have to be brave, willing, and actually do it. There is a lot of boundary setting during this time. As women we fail in this department. We were raised to put everyone's needs and happiness before our own and this handicap prevails over every decision we make. It permeates our lives, it shapes our lives. Before we know it our life and who we think we are is just a product of our environment. We weren't true to ourselves along the way, we didn't stop to think about if it was serving us or our needs, wants or goals. This snowballs throughout our life. This is why there is this mid-life crisis because our circumstances become who we are instead of our truest selves, we never stopped to ask the right questions.
Is this decision serving my life, the life I want without consideration of anyone else's idea of what that life should be. What do I really want? We never learned how to say no, or I will think about that and let you know.
It sounds so simple but it is such an intricate personal journey and no one knows these truths but you. It's also ok for your desires to change as you grow to adjust and not worry about who it upsets. We need to forget everything our parents and society asked of us to find what is real for us.
This is a private rebellion, this is not for anyone but you!
You must at all costs let go of others expectations of you or you will never find your true self and deepest desires. Let go of all constraints, money, time, judgements, anything standing in the way of your completely uninterrupted time to do this, take the risk to be happy.
Delicious fresh hot bread kind of happy.
Now that I hope you have taken a moment to take that all in, maybe you are willing, maybe it's not time yet. But for those of you who are willing to pause this race and be truly selfish and reflect, then let's find the way forward together. The first step is what I call game planning, then implementation, then finding the joys, the let go of, the possibilities.
You can't find these with judgement, self recrimination, or a closed mind.
You have to choose love, to love you enough to create a life that you can love that starts from a deep knowing love within. This will permeate all the other areas around you. Change is good, embrace all of who you are and appreciate what it has taken you to get here. Give yourself grace and you will be more graceful. This process is like planting seeds, preparing the soil, watering, weathering the storms, and watching the sunshine create all the new life in the spring. This is the process.
How to begin;
One- Start a daily meditation practice. Science has actually proven that meditation changes your body's chemistry and your brain. I think we should consider this the least expensive and most effective therapy on the planet. Learning to calm your mind is the beginning of getting awareness and controlling our body's reactions and healing both the mind and the body. I like to do this right when I wake up. Do it as often as you can.
I want you to focus only on your breathing, slow it down, elongate it, use deep breaths. This will help stop the traffic jam of thoughts. Don't judge the thoughts observe do not absorb. That is a good rule in general, do not respond, observe. Find out what is so troubling in the concept, not the person. Let yourself cry however often you need too. Give yourself permission to feel what you need to and release. Forgive yourself and everyone else or you will never find peace. I have a practice when bad thoughts about a person or a situation come up. I merely say, I am at peace with all men and I repeat this until I believe it. Close your eyes and breath into statements you want to embrace.
On that note, Two- Affirmations, again a daily practice as needed to replace negative thoughts. Whenever a negative thought comes up, replace it immediately with an affirmation.
Example: I am so out of shape. New statement, My body is magnificent. I am so fit.
She is such a bitch, New statement, She has been through a lot, love her.
I fail at everything, I'm a bad person, New Statement, I am innately good, I am loved and I am so brave I try new things constantly and I am open to new experiences and ways the universe can bring more good to me.
So you get the gist, make the statements your own change the words as needed. Retraining your negative response to yourself and the world and your experiences is the key and this takes time! Do not beat yourself up, this is resistance. Getting rid of all resistance is the goal here. You need an open, fluid, receptive mind for your new life to manifest. It all starts with you. Listen to as many positive affirmation videos on YouTube as you need to, buy an ear bob. No one needs to be involved in your process this; is a private affair and people judge. Keep your dreams and your demons to yourself, this is only you doing the work. It is not up for opinion or debate.
I think meditation in the mornings is the best way to reset your brain for the day, followed by a few positive statements about yourself.
I am intelligent, I am beautiful as I am, I am love, I am so loved. Today I am guided and I will hear my inner voice that will guide me towards the most loving path. Just a few suggestions. Because you are loved even all by yourself.
Three- listen to subliminal videos at night while you sleep, found on YouTube. You can choose a topic and then change it as things change for you. Self love, healing trauma, wealth, perfect cells, whatever you feel calls to you. Our subconscious is responsible for 90% of our thoughts and decisions and this can be reprogrammed over time but it must be addressed or you will never find healing or peace period! This is a powerful practice! Night ear bobs can be found on Amazon.
I am an Amazon affiliate and these links may lead to a commssion at no cost to you.
Four- What are you in such a hurry for? What are you avoiding?
ponder this and make changes. You have only yourself to please during this process so pause and journal or think or meditate as needed. They can wait! They can even help, start delegating to all these kids and husbands, parents, coworkers, so that you can have the time needed. This can be done in a loving way.
Tell them you are going to be taking breaks and that you are trying to improve everyone's lives and reduce stress and that they need to respect your time to yourself. Some kind of barrier setting at the onset is best, you will need to reiterate along the way.
Five- Cleansing the house and the environment. This may seem basic but this will have a profound impact on your life and your process. Every part of your life must go through an excavation.
I want you to make a commitment to spend at least one hour a day on this task. You will lay down at night feeling like progress is being made and that will help your mental health.
Start in the room of your house that makes you feel the worst when you walk into it. Two garbage bags per day, one is for Good Will the other is for the garbage. Here is the rule, if it doesn't bring your joy or you have not touched it in a year it goes. No joke, get serious we are changing your life and it's not going to look or feel the same ever again. As you let go of the old, the universe brings you better. Let go of the old, let go of what does not serve you! You know what this is, cry if you have to but let go of the past and all this stuff you don't need that clutters your house and your mind. You will feel 100 lbs lighter. If you are unwilling to do any of this you are probably not ready to make the changes necessary to live your best life. I love you and believe you can do this.
Take the bags to the car or the trash, you can't go back into the bag is the rule. When you finish in a room we can talk about redecorating with the items you already own. I can help with a virtual session should you need. Be brave! After you finish a room, buy yourself a house plant to go in that room as a reward. Plants help with depression and air quality. TJ Max or Marshals has terrific affordable cute porcelain pots. This is the fun part! Reward the work and keep moving forward. Maybe you know a neighbor or someone at work who could use these things you are clearing out. The bags however go out of the house the same day you fill them!
Six- write down what you need to let go of and only take in content that serves you. Two parts to this one, what you let go of is as important as what you take in. Letting go is a huge part of the process and should be done continuously. This will help your mind become more fluid and allow more flow and good things to come to your mind and in your life.
Content, TV, Streaming, Social Media, you get the gist. Control what you think about and what you let into your mind and subconscious.
Become unpopular, find you, this takes making space. Change your habits and thoughts and your life will change.
Here is your rule; if it is not positive, uplifting, makes you smile, enhances your life, brings you peace, then don't look at it or entertain it.
This includes negative people and gossip of any kind.
I look at Pinterest and design because it makes me happy to see beautiful things and enhances my creativity and is a positive community. I do not participate in Facebook, Instagram, or negative TV. I don't care what anyone else is eating , wearing, or saying unless they are someone I want to be like and since we are individuals I really don't want to be like anyone. I can only be the absolute best version of me, the competition is in the mirror not on your phone! Start with the woman in front of you and hone in until she is fabulous. Your version of what that is not mine and not the fake ai models you see on Instagram. All of the images online are not only altered but mostly likely not real. So please this is an inside job on you and it requires focus. Focus on your thoughts for a day that will take all your time. What we think about we become, period! Control your thoughts, change your life! I can not stress this enough. This is a permanent project and you need to focus and get serious about your peace and the beautiful life you can create which starts in your mind.
Seven- Visualize, in detail, exactly what you want and the version of you, you want to be true. Do this every night before going to sleep. It is imperative to only think about what you want to be true, especially before bed. Do not focus on what is, only on what you want it to be. Another great general rule, focus on what you want, not what is. You can also journal this, in detail, it will help your clarification process. Fall asleep thinking positive thoughts and creating a fairytale life and feeling what that would feel like. The feelings create the manifestation not the thought. The thought, visual should lead you to the feelings. During the day when you have moments of frustration take a moment, close your eyes, bring up your vision and feel the feelings again.
Breathe deeply for a minute. This will change the course of that moment the day and retrain your brain and reactions.
Eight- The Power of The Word.
You have heard of this all throughout history, from every great thought leader in existence. What you speak you will reap, there are a thousand ways to say this. Be careful with your thoughts and words because they become your life. Casual sarcastic statements about people or life is a death sentence to a good life. These are your beliefs. Your beliefs are a series of thoughts you keep thinking and saying, nothing more!
Change your words, this is why affirmations are so powerful. It is about retraining your brain. If someone is speaking negatively, remove yourself or change the subject. Ignore the bad, focus on the beauty around you that you've been overlooking. Give more compliments to yourself internally and to others, appreciate little things in your life. This coffee is so good, the weed blooming in my yard is beautiful. Just find something good and express it. Learn to say things about yourself that may not be true and learn to believe it and it will become true. Focus on the good qualities in people around you and you will see more of them. If you want your husband/ lover to be more affectionate, say in your mind, I am adored regularly and see what happens. Eight will allow joy to come in and your mind will learn how to accept the good not negate it as it is accustumed too. If you take these steps and don't shortcut them and take your life, thoughts, as your own and do the gardening then you will feel your way into a beautiful life. Because you decided, that is the key to decide it is going to be different and take responsibilty for your thoughts, mind and beliefs which create your life. It can all be new if you decide.
So would you like to stay or move forward and create beauty and peace as the definers of your life?
If you would like to improve your health and wellness in other ways please see the other blogs on this site. As Always, much love! MS
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Should you want help further down this path I will create space for individual Virtual sessions on the following;
Personalized Life Plan-
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Personalized Nutrition or Cellular Detox
Emergency Support Session-
Customized Meditation/affirmation
Finding Joy Session-
Redesign a Room Session-
Wardrobe CleanOut and Personalized Shopping List
House Detox Session-
Evaluation Session-
Home Remodel Design help-
Should you need any of these virtual services please email
mybestlife.mnetzero@gmail.com
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As Always, Much Love! MS Click below!
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